2021 Year in Review

Just like 2020, this was another tough year, but I’m thankful for the people I was able to share my time with. We were blessed to be able to travel to Virginia, Florida, and Michigan this year. I think I found my groove a little bit more as a mom. For me, the toddler stage is definitely easier and more fun than the newborn stage!

So here is my year in review (you can see past years here: (2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020).

January:

-Xavier got to meet one of his dad’s cousins on New Year’s Eve and spend time with some other family members

-He also got to meet his Great Grandma on his dad’s side for the first time, albeit through the glass

February:

-Xavier got to sit in the snow for the first time. He wasn’t too excited about it, but maybe next year he’ll like it more since he can walk now.

-He started his water babies swim lessons

March:

-Celebrated his great grandmother’s 89th birthday.

-Visiting Kolbe & Gabriella

-Swim lessons

-Had his first birthday party

-Celebrated Grandma’s birthday

April:

-Trip to Virginia for my friend, Lizzy’s rehearsal dinner, wedding, and then goodbye brunch at Bear Chase Brewery

-AJ’s birthday

-Trip to Clearwater Beach, Florida to visit family thanks to free airline miles we earned back when we went to the Grand Canyon for our 1 year anniversary trip. The airline needed someone to hop on a flight that was 2 hours later than originally scheduled. They offered $2000 and little did I know, they meant $2000 per person! With that money we were able to travel to Cabo for a babymoon in 2019, Florida this year, and Michigan later this year!

May:

-Celebrated his friend Emmy’s first birthday

-Mother’s Day spending time with the moms, grandmas, and my grandparents

-Visiting Kolbe & Gabriella

-Family BBQ

-Out to dinner for Grandpa’s birthday

-Family outing to Top Golf and meeting cousin Izek

June:

-Popcorn Park Zoo

-Paint ‘n’ sip with family

-Father’s Day

-Beach day with friends

July:

-Connecticut for my grandpa’s birthday

-Krzysztof’s birthday party

-Weekend in LBI

-Out to dinner at Grenville for my birthday (and our first night out together since August ’20 for our anniversary!)

-Back to LBI for my birthday with my mom

-Trip to Michigan to visit my cousin and his wife. We went to botanical gardens, Bronner’s Christmas wonderland, Frankenmuth, a splash park, and played with their cat.

August:

-Visiting Kolbe

-Beach day with family

-Weekend in LBI with the Ronans

-Carousel at Pier Village

-3 year anniversary: dinner the following night at Flames

-Church picnic

-Day trip to LBI to visit my cousin

-AJ’s LIFT competition with Mach 1 Barbell

-Family beach day

September:

-Belmar 5 mile race

-Surprise baby sprinkle for my friend Kate

-Visiting AJ’s aunt in Bayville for a family beach day & BBQ

-Another trip to Popcorn Park Zoo

-Apple picking

-Ran the Donut 5k and won 1st place in my age group

-Exploring Cattus Island

-My dad came for a visit

October:

-Apple picking again

-Corinne & Matt’s wedding

-Jenkinson’s Aquarium

-Foodstock

-Allaire Community Farm

-Connecticut for the weekend visiting my grandparents, going to the Forest of Fear, and going to the Shores beach and playground and Kids Kingdom

-Halloween: Xavier dressed as a lifeguard and AJ as a tacky tourist for work

November:

-Taking family photos for our Christmas cards at Manasquan Reservoir with our friend Denielle

-Allaire historic village

-Thanksgiving

December:

-Celebrating Grandma’s birthday

-Christmas Wonderland and train ride at Maple Leaf Farm in Manalapan

-Visiting baby Anna and playing with Emmy

-Toddler time at our town municipal center

-Play date with Kolbe

-Christmas party with friends

-Meeting Santa at my friend’s parents’ Christmas party

-Christmas Eve in Connecticut

-Christmas Day in Connecticut

-The day after Christmas in NJ

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Full Text of the Reproductive Health Act

Since there is an abundance of biased news sources reporting on New York’s Reproductive Health Act of 2019, I have decided to read through the language of the actual bill to ensure a non-biased look into its language.  Full text here.

Here is what stands out to me:

“Abortion is one of the safest medical procedures performed in the United States.”

As a teacher of rhetoric, I know a logical fallacy when I see one.  What evidence is there to back that claim?  The bill itself provides none.  One of the safest medical procedures compared to what?  What exactly constitutes a medical procedure?  Is it safer to have an abortion than to get my blood drawn?  Probably not.  Safer than an EKG?  No.  Safer than an MRI?  Nope.

Here are some risks from abortions:

-pelvic infection

-blood clots in the uterus

-heavy bleeding

-cut or torn cervix

-puncture or tear of the wall of the uterus

-anesthesia-related complications

-scar tissue on the uterine wall, which can lead to future infertility or miscarriages

-depression

(Even the abortion pill can cause bleeding, blood clots, and infection, according to Planned Parenthood’s website)

Okay, let’s keep reading the bill.

“A health practitioner licensed, certified, or authorized under title eight of the Education Law, acting within his or her lawful scope of practice, may perform an abortion when according to the practitioner’s reasonable and good faith professional judgement based on the facts of the patient’s case: the patient is within 24 weeks from the commencement of pregnancy, or there is an absence of fetal viability, or the abortion is necessary to protect the patient’s life or health.”

“Or health” is concerning to me.  This isn’t about saving a mother’s life.  Countless OB-GYNs have said that third trimester abortions are never medically necessary to save a mother’s life because the baby could just be delivered alive and still live.

But what could now fit the “or health” aspect of the bill?  Can a mother who is fed up with gestational diabetes choose an abortion?  One who is sick and on bed rest?  “Health” is much too vague.

“‘Person,’ when referring to a victim of a homicide, means a human being who has been born and is alive.”

So there won’t be any double counts of murder for a guy who murders his pregnant girlfriend.  But what happens if he beats her up badly, but only enough to kill the baby that is living inside of her?  What happens then?

Pregnancy can actually be a trigger for domestic violence.  This bill is not helping that situation at all.

 

Government Shutdown Lunacy

I haven’t been blogging lately, but recent news events have me so frustrated, that I just need to rant a bit.

So the government shutdown is a horrible situation for thousands of government workers.  I don’t care if you’re a Democrat, Republican, or Independent – we can all agree that the workers who have been furloughed are facing tough times.  34 days without a salary is a big deal.

While I was walking on the treadmill at the gym today, I saw a CNN report from U.S. Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross. (see article) He can’t understand why so many furloughed workers are going to homeless shelters for food.  He says that any bank will give them money.

Initially, I thought that maybe the banks were doing something I hadn’t heard about.  Maybe they’re all helping to give temporary money to these workers.

Think again.  He’s talking about loans.

He admitted that these workers would have to pay interest, but “the idea that it’s paycheck or zero is not a really valid idea.”

Um what?  That’s exactly the situation: a paycheck or none.  Any random person cannot simply walk into a bank and walk out with money.  It’s not that simple.  And even if they do, they will now need to pay interest.  That’s no small potatoes.  But obviously this billionaire doesn’t have to worry about where his food is coming from.

He even suggested that 800,000 furloughed workers isn’t that large of a number.  He said, “And while I feel sorry for the individuals that have hardship cases, 800,000 workers if they never got their pay — which is not the case, they will eventually get it — but if they never got it, you’re talking about a third of a percent on our GDP. So, it’s not like it’s a gigantic number overall.”

I was listening to these idiotic comments while walking on the treadmill today and I couldn’t help but continue to shake my head in disgust.

Some of the politicians who are trying to end the government shutdown don’t realize the disastrous results it has on some families.  They can’t understand why these families are struggling.  And 800,000 doesn’t sound like a large number to them.

How can this be real life?

Ross is also disappointed by the workers who refuse to return to work after being ordered to by Trump.  Did he consider that working at McDonald’s is a better option right now than to go back to work for free?

Secret service agents are being forced to basically volunteer.  And that means risking their lives.  For free.

I’m all about volunteering, but the President forcing you to work for free isn’t the same thing.  Maybe Trump should pay some of these workers out of his own pocket.  If he needs secret service agents, then he can pay them.  Otherwise, he should be on his own.

Lara Trump (daughter-in-law of Trump), like Ross, made ignorant comments about the shutdown.  She said, “It is a little bit of pain but it’s going to be for the future of our country.” (See USA Today article).  A “little bit of pain”?  Excuse me, but people being unable to pay their mortgage payment, electric bills, car payments is more than a “little bit” of pain.  Not being able to buy food or gas is terrifying for these families, especially since there is no end in sight.

I thought that we lived in a Democratic nation that is for the people, by the people, but I’m beginning to question that.

A border wall is not necessary.  It’s not like we’re being attacked by an enemy force.  The fact that our government is allowing American families to go hungry because they cannot agree over a wall is complete lunacy.

The immigrants that some members of the government are so afraid of have never caused even close to the amount of damage that is now in existence as a result of our good ol’ government.

I am incredibly thankful that no members of my immediate family are government workers, but I am pained for those who are struggling right now.

America should be ashamed of herself.  She is allowing Americans with full-time jobs to fall into poverty, at no fault of their own.  We like to talk about the American Dream and how we just need to work to get ahead in America, but it’s simply untrue.  You can have a good, steady job in America, but because of the government, this job can tell you that you need to report for free, and you may or may not be paid back.

Guess what?  Our members of Congress are still getting paid.  The lives of 800,000 workers sit in their hands, but they don’t feel the effects themselves.

This is the America in which we are living in 2019.

This is going to go down in history as an embarrassment for our nation.  I’m already embarrassed.  I am by no means proud to be an American today.

30 Years of Memories

I turned 30 on Friday.  I don’t know if it’s really hit me yet.  30.  Like 3-0.  Like I am no longer in my twenties.  I’m an actual adult, and although this has been the case for over ten years, it still doesn’t feel as though that is the case.

When I turned 28, I wrote a blog called “28 Things I’ve Learned in 28 Years” and they are still true today, so rather than writing about my 30 years of wisdom, I wanted to write out 30 years of memories.  Now, I don’t have memories from when I was a baby or toddler, so rather than writing something for each year, I am going to write about 30 memories that stand out in my mind.

1. Long Beach Island vacations with my mom

Every year since I can remember, we spent time in LBI.  After she was divorced, we spent time at LBI at the house my grandparents rented, but as soon as she was able to, we started going to LBI for yearly vacations, usually around my birthday.

2. Growing up in Candlewood Shores

I loved growing up so close to the lake.  I spent tons of time at the beach, swimming in the lake, kayaking, and walking my dog around the neighborhood.  During the winter, I would go sledding in my yard or on the hill at the end of my dead-end road.

3. Frost Valley adventures with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins

Also every year since I remember, I have been going to Frost Valley with some of my family members for a long weekend in January.  I have so many memories of the great times I’ve had at Frost Valley.  Tubing, cross country skiing, hiking, using the low ropes course, the cable bridges, exploring, building snowmen, hiking to the observatory.

4. Myrtle Beach vacations

I went to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina three times with my aunt, uncle, and two cousins.  Going to the beach, boogie boarding, swimming in the pool, hunting for hermit crabs in the gullies at night, getting ice cream, playing mini-golf.

5. Family parties

I was always excited to attend frequent family parties.  My favorite were those that took place in the summer at the marina where my grandparents kept their boat.  We would swim, barbecue, and go out for boat rides.  I am grateful that my family has always been so close, getting together for birthdays, Christmas Eve and Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, you name it.

6. Birthdays

Having a summer birthday, I always felt like my birthday lasted forever.  I would have a birthday party with my friends, and then I would also have other birthday celebrations with my family and at Long Beach Island with my mom.

7. Getting Adam Sandler’s autograph

Adam Sandler came to Connecticut to shoot part of the film, Mr. Deeds.  Fun fact of the day: Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa is actually a town called New Milford.  And the film was set in the winter, but it was shot in June, so the film crew had to make fake snow each day.

My mom and I went to see part of the filming and we stood in line for hours waiting for Adam Sandler’s autograph.  My mom also got to meet Peter Gallagher and she saw Winona Ryder.

8. Butterscotch

I remember begging my mom for years to get a dog.  Finally, on my sixteenth birthday at Long Beach Island, my mom surprised me by telling me that her gift to me was going to be a dog.  It took a little while to find the right one, but when we entered that shelter in Monroe, I fell in love with Butterscotch immediately.  My mom was a bit unsure since he really wasn’t excited to see us or play with us.  I think that he was just too hot since it was August.  But he ended up becoming a significant member of our family.  We had ten awesome years with Butterscotch.  I wish I could have had a few more, but I will always remember the memories of that cute little guy, and all of the places we went like Kent Falls and Tarrywile.

9. Anti-Prom Party

I know that my mom still regrets my decision to skip my senior prom (or any other high school dance, for that matter), but I do not.  My friends and I had an anti-prom party, which consisted of going to the playground, going out to dinner for pizza, going to Il Bacio’s for ice cream, and then watching movies and having a sleepover.

10. Steubenville East retreat with my youth group

Although I hated my mom for forcing me to go, Steubenville East was the pivotal turning point in my faith journey.  It was there that I decided to devote my life to Christ, and also the time during which I realized that I had an interest in Franciscan University, even though the distance terrified me.

11. My first flight to the Dominican Republic with my mom

Once I knew that I would be attending Franciscan, my mom wanted me to get on an airplane in case I ever had to fly home from college.  As it turns out, I did fly home twice from college (once to attend my goddaughter’s baptism and once to go to a Lyme disease specialist).  So my mom planned a trip to DR to celebrate her 50th birthday and to get me on an airplane.  I was extremely scared on the flight, and I still don’t exactly enjoy flying, but I’m happy to have conquered my fear since I now travel quite a bit.

12. Franciscan University of Steubenville

I’m so grateful for the education that I received from Franciscan – not just in terms of the teaching pedagogy but also my faith formation.  I was fully prepared to enter the classroom after graduating thanks to the fabulous faculty members at Franciscan and their strong education program. And in terms of Franciscan’s passionate Catholicism, I don’t know where I would be today in my faith journey if it were not for Franciscan.

13. Becoming a Godmother

My goddaughter, Abby, was born during my freshman year of college, so I flew home to go to her baptism.  I can’t believe how old she has gotten and how quickly time is passing.

14. Getting Lyme Disease

I was on a walking pilgrimage in New Jersey and Pennsylvania with my youth group.  I loved the experience, but a week later, I was as sick as a dog, unsure what was wrong with me.  Once starting my sophomore year at Franciscan, I learned that I had Lyme, which is relatively treatable in most people.  Little did I know how much it would change my life, turning into chronic Lyme.  But I have grown in many ways as a result of the Lyme, so although I don’t necessarily embrace it, I see how God has used it to form and strengthen me.

15. ResQ

I can’t really remember how I wrote my first rap, but I just randomly found a beat, wrote a rap, and eventually met Oscar (aka II X).  We recorded six songs together during my years at Franciscan and we performed at three coffeehouses.

16. First mission trip in Ecuador

I had been scheduled to study abroad in Austria, but had to cancel as a result of the Lyme disease since I would not be able to bring enough antibiotics into Europe to last me for an entire semester.  Looking back, I am so happy that I never made it to Austria because if I had, I would have never been able to sign up for a spring break mission trip.  Ecuador was a tough trip — definitely the most grueling mission trip I have yet to experience, but I also found my love for the missions field while there.  We hiked for hours through the mud, carrying heavy backpacks, guitars, and bags full of medical supplies.  We brought doctors, nurses, and priests into remote, jungle areas outside of Misahualli to serve the people.  We set up medical clinics, played with the children, prayed with the communities, had Masses and baptisms, and spent time with the people.

17. First Year of Teaching in Bridgeport, CT

It was a crazy year: starting at Paul Laurence Dunbar School, teaching 7th and 8th grade reading and language arts only to be transferred in October to Central High School to teach 9th and 10th grade due to overcrowded classes.

18. Traveling to San Diego, California

After graduating from Franciscan, I missed my two closest friends, Lizzy and Amy.  Lizzy lived in Virginia and Amy lived in California.  For spring break, I flew out to San Diego to visit Amy and her housemates and fellow Franciscan alumni, Kara and Lea.  Lizzy also flew out and it was so nice getting to see everyone again while exploring beautiful San Diego.

19. Four Years of Teaching in Danbury, CT

I loved working in Bridgeport, but had to switch jobs due to a budget crisis that took place the year that I was hired.  Little did I know that Danbury High School had group of staff members that were incredibly welcoming.  I absolutely loved my four years in Danbury and it was extremely difficult when I decided to leave that job to move to New Jersey.  I remember the tears I shed walking out the doors for the last time and I still miss my fellow colleagues there, but I am very happy teaching in Long Branch now.

20. Traveling to Brazil to meet my sister and Brazilian family

After my sister messaged me on Facebook back in 2012, I was excited to plan a trip to Brazil to finally meet my family.  I went there during Christmas break and it was a whirlwind of a trip.  We had 11 flights in 10 days, traveling to Manaus, Cruzeiro do Sul, and Rio de Janeiro.  I met my sister and her fiance at the time, my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents.  My grandpa died not too long after my trip to Brazil, so I am thankful that I was able to meet him before his passing.  Since then I have traveled to Brazil twice: once for my sister’s wedding and once for my grandmother’s 99th birthday.

21. Teaching Trip in Haiti

A fellow teacher at DHS informed me about a trip for teachers to Port-au-Prince where they needed teachers to provide professional development to teachers in Haiti through Project Teach.  Many teachers in Haiti only have a high school education, so we taught them how to utilize more engaging strategies.  Since I had only been teaching for three years at the time, it was incredibly humbling to be providing professional development to the class of teachers in front of me.  One of the men had been teaching for 35 years and yet he was eager to hear every strategy I had to share.

22. Running a marathon

After getting Lyme, I was determined that I would start running once my health improved.  I first signed up for a half marathon and then my first full marathon.  Since then, I have completed 5 half marathons, two full marathons, two Spartan Beasts, one super Spartan, three Spartan sprints,  one Tough Mudder, two Belmar Five Milers, and one 10-K.

23. Seeing Eminem in concert

Eminem has been my favorite musician since some time around eighth grade when I was finally allowed to buy his CDs once we found the edited versions at FYE. When I heard that he was coming to perform with Rihanna at MetLife Stadium for their Monster Tour, I knew that I had to go.  I spent more than I would ever spend again on a concert to go and then arrived super early on the day of the concert to ensure that I would be in the front row since my section was standing room only.

24. Moving to New Jersey

The timeline was crazy.  Go to the last interview for Long Branch and accept the job offer.  Find an apartment in under a week.  Go on a mission trip to Rwanda.  Pack up my apartment in Danbury and fill a U-Haul.  Drive to Jersey to begin my new teacher professional development day at Long Branch while living out of a spare bedroom at my ex-boyfriend’s parents’ house while I wait for my apartment to be ready.  Leave work to meet my mom and uncle at my house with the U-Haul to begin unloading.  Go to my first day of work while my house is a mess of boxes.

25. Scoring AP exams

I traveled to Kansas City, Missouri for my first year scoring AP exams and I was really excited to get to room with my friend from DHS and to see my friend, Kristin, who was a zookeeper at the Kansas City Zoo.  I’ve also had the opportunity to travel to Tampa, Florida, twice for AP scoring.  I have learned so much through my years of scoring and it always helps me to improve my teaching practice.

26. Mission trip to Nicaragua with Living Water International

I went to Nicaragua for a week to help drill a well for a community that lacked access to clean water.  We also provided hygiene lessons, played with the kids, and did arts and crafts with the women and children while the men were working on drilling the well.  Our translator was sick, so I also helped to translate Bible stories into Spanish, despite the fact that I hadn’t really been practicing my Spanish much.

27. Becoming a part of Young Adults in Faith

I had been wanting to start a Catholic young adult group at my church in Belmar, but our parish doesn’t have that many young adults.  I met Gabriella, a Catholic DJ who soon became a close friend.  She invited me to Bible study and holy hour and I became a member of Young Adults in faith, which has been such a blessing.  Through the group, I have formed great friendships and that is also where I met AJ.

28.  Mission trip to Rwanda with Go Be Love International

I had always wanted to travel to Africa, so I was extremely excited about having the opportunity to volunteer there.  We traveled to Gisenyi, which borders Lake Kivu, Bugesera, where some of the most poor Rwandans live and Kigali, the capital of the country.  We volunteered our time, shared our love, and we visited the Genocide Memorial Museum to keep everything in perspective.  And then I stayed two extra days to meet Patience, my sponsored child, and to go gorilla trekking.

29.Mission trip to Uganda with Go Be Love International

Last summer I traveled again with Go Be Love, but this time to Uganda, where we visited a children’s prison, volunteered with Sole Hope to remove jiggers and provide people with a pair of shoes that had been made from jeans that were donated and cut by myself and my students at Long Branch, and we volunteered at Amani Baby Cottage.

30. My relationship with AJ

When was your first date?  People sometimes ask that, but we never really had one.  We met at Bible study, initially not considering a relationship at all.  I thought AJ was a lot younger than me.  He thought that I was into the dating scene and interested in older guys.  But during Bible study, we noticed some similarities, especially regarding working out and our love for spending time outside.  The first time we hung out together was to go kayaking.  Then we went hiking at Hartshorne Park (one of the most fun days ever) and out to dinner at Mr. Shrimp for Restaurant Week.  Then we went to the movies to see Hacksaw Ridge.  Soon we were hanging out all of the time.  Eventually, I went to the Poconos with him for his friend, Sway’s birthday, and I guess the rest is history.

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I have so many other memories, but these are the ones that came to mind the most quickly.  30 years of adventures, and so many more still in store.

 

 

No, We Don’t Need More Guns in Our Schools

The headlines over the past week have been awful.  Unfortunately, that isn’t just because of the shooting in Parkland, Florida, but also because of President Trump’s reactions to the shooting.

Despite the idiocy of Trump, though, I am so impressed by the many Parkland teens who are standing up and advocating for stricter gun laws.  Emma Gonzalez showed such passion in her speech:

She even confronted a spokeswoman from the NRA who was evading her question about banning bump stocks and semi-automatic weapons.  She brought up the fact that Trump was the one who helped to repeal a law that made it more difficult for people with mental illnesses to purchase guns.  She is adamant that the laws become stricter.

But while the students fight for tougher gun laws, President Trump does the opposite.  His solution is to arm teachers.

Initially, there was outcry from numerous sources upon hearing Trump’s idea, so he later followed up prior comments by explaining that he doesn’t mean that any teacher should be given a gun.  Instead, it should be teachers with military backgrounds.

He cited random, fake statistics, saying that 10% of teachers in one school might fit the situation while 40% in another school would.  Now, I don’t know what schools are like in the south, but I can promise you that here in New Jersey, we don’t have too many ex-military teachers.  I can think of two in my entire high school.  Does he really believe there are schools where 40% of the teachers used to be in the military?

He even made a comment about coaches being good candidates to be trained with weapons because they have experience in that sort of thing.  Excuse me, Mr. President, but our coaches are mainly teachers.  They aren’t ex-military.  Why is a coach more likely to be equipped to handle a gun?  We have a problem with fake news these days, which is no surprise considering our own president spreads his own fake news.

Then he suggested giving special bonus money to the teachers who are armed.  He said that “teachers love bonuses.”  Trump speaks as if we’re children.  “Teachers love bonuses.”  I mean, isn’t that true of anyone, really?  Who isn’t happy to receive a bonus at their job?  He just always has such a condescending attitude.

I would rather forego the bonus than have that sort of power in my hands, and I know that many teachers agree with me.  Police officers are highly trained with their weapons, yet they still shoot and kill innocent bystanders from time to time.  Has Trump considered how likely that is to happen in a school, especially in a chaotic moment like a mass shooting?

He said that it takes about 8 minutes for the police to arrive at a school shooting and the shootings have only lasted for 3 minutes on average.  Hypothetically speaking, let’s say 5 teachers in my school are carrying concealed weapons.  What is the chance that one of the five of them will be less than a three minute’s walk away?  And if they are, how likely is it that they will kill the criminal without accidentally taking an innocent life?

Then, who will be there to protect the teachers when lawsuits arise?  Will legislators protect them from accidentally killing an innocent student?  And even if they could be protected financially, who is going to protect the guilt that they will likely face forever?

Trump suggests that teachers take a training course and then revisit the course once every six to twelve months, but who will pay for it?  A man posed that question to him yesterday and he completely evaded the question, making it sound like that shouldn’t be a reason to turn down his idea since it’s so crucial for the safety of our children.

But that is exactly what continues to happen with education in America; laws are passed, but they lack funding.  Schools sometimes need to fire teachers in order to find the funds to comply with government mandates.  Trump keeps saying that this will be “basically free” to the schools.  I don’t think he understands what the word free means.

The courses to learn gun safety and shooting accuracy will cost money.  The purchase of guns and ammunition will cost money.  And the bonuses he says the teachers should be given will also cost money.  So even if people agree with his idea, it’s financially disastrous to education.  We would lose teachers so that a select few teachers could carry guns.  I’m not even going to get into our failing education system, but I would prefer tax dollars to be spent on improving education, not purchasing weapons.

Trump reminds me of a child who makes reactive, impulsive decisions without considering them fully.  School shooting?  Uh…let’s arm teachers.  Oh, people think that’s dangerous?  Okay…uh…we’ll only arm a select few who have a military background.  Where will money come from?   Shoot…haven’t considered that one…well, if you love your kids you’ll find the money.  Yea…that’s the answer.

How is this our president?  How do people still support him?  He sounds like a rambling fool.

Trump said this about the shooting in Florida:  “A teacher would have shot the hell out of him before he knew what happened.  These teachers love their students. And these teachers are talented with weaponry and with guns. And I’d rather have somebody that loves their students and wants to protect their students than somebody standing outside that doesn’t know anybody and doesn’t know the students and frankly, for whatever reason, decided not to go in even though he heard lots of shots being fired.”

So a teacher would have shot him as a result of their love for their students?  A+B does not equal C here.  Teachers loving their students has no correlation to being able to shoot a criminal before he could kill more students.  There is zero causation between the two.  I love my students; therefore, if trained, I could “shoot the hell” out of any perpetrator?  No, that’s not how it works.

Cruz had an automatic weapon.  What will a teacher have, a handgun?  Does Trump honestly believe that one teacher with a handgun could have prevented all of that?

He made that comment after learning about the armed officer who was outside of the high school and who never entered.  His response about that was that “A security guard doesn’t know the children, doesn’t love the children. This man standing outside of the school the other day doesn’t love the children, probably doesn’t know the children. The teachers love their children. They love their pupils.”

First off, I’m an English teacher, and I cannot get over Trump’s repetitive, elementary sentence structure.  He loves to repeat key words and short sentences.  But him saying that we love our students while security guards don’t has no evidence or support.  Trump’s rhetoric is that of a child.  Yet some people still side with him?  I just don’t understand.  I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone.

He is so completely off base and out of touch with reality.  He even made a comment that “now is no longer the time for political correctness.”  That insinuates that he was previously being politically correct, but I can’t remember one instance when we held back from spewing insults at someone.

Trump likes finding scapegoats.  Immigrants, Muslims, it doesn’t really matter.  He needs someone to blame.  In this case, it’s the officer.  Now I don’t know the situation surrounding that officer.  I don’t know why he didn’t enter the building, but I’m sure that he is carrying some guilt right now.

He was also pointing the finger at California today, since California won’t go along with some of Trump’s ideas.  He started talking about the gang MS-13, and how those people aren’t even human beings; they’re animals.

MS-13 has nothing to do with this school shooting.  Yes, they actually are human beings.  No, that should not even be part of the conversation, but because he can point a finger, he will.

Trump pointing fingers is not helping anything.  And neither is his plan to arm teachers.

I miss the compassion we saw from President Obama following mass shootings like the one in Sandy Hook.  He appeared visually upset, tears streaming down his face as he discussed the events.  Families felt incredibly touched by his kind words to them when they met in private.  I don’t know how Trump reacted privately, but on camera, no matter the situation, he always has that smug grin plastered on his face.  It’s revolting, really.

I’m curious what changes are going to be passed by lawmakers in the upcoming months.  All I know is that, as a high school teacher, the last thing that I want is a bunch of my coworkers armed with guns.  That is not the answer.

Anyway…I really like this editorial that was posted in the New York Times:

How Did Modesty Get Such a Negative Connotation?

*Warning* – Indecent image is included in this blog

I’ve been teaching my AP students using advertisements this past week. They were analyzing various ads for rhetorical appeals (ethos / pathos / logos) and strategies (juxtaposition / metaphor / etc). In upcoming lessons, we will be reviewing gender stereotypes.

I subscribe to a variety of magazines (at no cost thanks to frequent flyer miles since I never accumulate enough with any one airline to actually fly anywhere for free) that I use from time to time for projects in my classroom. This week, I received the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue in the mail. Usually I would just throw out that magazine since it’s not quite classroom appropriate.  However, since I knew that we would be reviewing gender stereotypes in my classes in the upcoming weeks, I thought I might find some advertisements that could work for the topic of gender stereotypes in that magazine.

And boy was I right. Every single ad used a woman to sell something.  I expected this, but unfortunately, the ads are so hyper sexualized that I do not plan on using them with my students.

Once I came across this picture at the end of the issue, I felt prompted to write a little blog about it.  Sorry for the nudity, but here is the image:

Of course I agree that a woman deserves respect no matter what she is wearing.  Everyone deserves respect simply because each and every one of us is a human being who has worth. But feminists are taking things way too far.

This woman’s top is so contradictory.

Here are my naked breasts for the world to see.  But please, respect me.  

I’m dressed like I want to f***, but please, don’t come on to me too strong.  

Does she deserve to be raped?  Of course not.  Nobody ever deserves to be raped.  But does it look like she’s eager for sex?  Of course.

How is it that modesty has attained such a negative connotation?

I’ll be honest.  If I see a girl wearing that at the beach, I will automatically pass judgment on her.  I try my best to avoid judging people, but I’m human.  These would be my initial thoughts:

-Are there children around?  That woman is practically naked!

-She must be really easy

–I bet she has slept with tons of men

-I’m sure all of the guys must be checking her out

-How can she wear that and not feel overexposed?

And the list goes on.  Now, I am a female.  I can’t even begin to imagine what the guys would be thinking.  It’s proven, after all, that men are much more visual than females.

It’s one thing to be proud of your body and another to simply be indecent.  I work out quite a bit.  I’m proud of my body, but I also respect myself.

Sure, her shirt says that other people should respect her, but the problem here is that she isn’t respecting herself.  She’s turning herself into an object of sexual desire.

I understand that the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition is about all that, but I am so frustrated that any company even made a swimsuit top like that.

If we want men to treat us like ladies, then we must dress like ladies.  Showing our goods to the world is not showing respect to ourselves or those we come into contact with.

I’ll be the first to admit that although my faith is strong, I struggle with modesty during the summer.  I like wearing short shorts and tank tops when it’s hot out.  I like bikinis rather than one-piece bathing suits.

I’m not calling for women to dress like they did in the early 1900s.

And yes, I am aware that that girl is a model.  It is her living to flaunt her body, but I wonder if she really believes that message written across her naked chest.  Does she really believe that she will be respected by men (or women, for that matter) when dressing like that?

Let’s show ourselves some respect by covering up a bit.  Don’t you ladies want to keep part of your bodies a mystery, only exposing it to the one you love?  Do you really want every random person at the beach ogling you?

Women complain about cat calls and being stared at, but guess what?  If you wear that top, you’re basically asking for it.  You’re saying, hey, boys, check me out.  I’m sexy and I know it.  Wanna take me home?  I know I’m beautiful and I want everyone here to know it.  Look at me.  Do you like what you see?  

But you’re thinking, Do you they like what they see?  Am I hot enough?  Am I curvy enough? Am I muscular enough? Do they like me? Do they think I’m beautiful? How many men I can get to stare at me?

Because I find that women who dress like this often have the lowest self esteem.  They find their worth in the approval of men.  They think that by getting a guy to stare them down, they will find true happiness and fulfillment.

It’s sad, really.

So please, ladies, show yourself some SELF-respect and maintain some level of mystery about you, which will attract the right guys, who want you for more than just your appearance.

 

 

 

 

Uneasy Feelings about President Trump

I previously posted a blog about a few positive changes that have happened thus far as a result of Trump being elected.

The US will no longer fund abortions for overseas NGOs.  I’m happy about that.

But there are some other steps that he is taking that are pretty scary.

I’m not a fan of Trump, but I also don’t think he is the devil.  I do not like the idea of either him or Clinton being in office, but here we are, with America’s decision made.  I am definitely uneasy about our future.

First off, I know that I have a lot to learn about politics.  But I really felt that even if Trump was elected, he would need the approval from Congress to enact major changes. Apparently, I was wrong.  He just keeps signing executive actions.  He is eliciting a great deal of fear in a huge portion of the American population.

The Mexican Border Wall

He continues to speak about his his plan to build the wall on the border of the U.S. and Mexico.  One way he plans to do this is either taxing Mexico on its exports or taxing the U.S. on the imports.  Basically, that leaves us with two scenarios.

1. Higher taxes on Mexico – a country that already has a great deal of poverty
2. Higher taxes on American consumers on products that they purchase from Mexico

One of my friends from high school is a zookeeper and she posted this article about how Trump’s wall threatens 111 endangered species.  His tax hike will already pose problems, but depending on his plan for the actual wall itself, he could potentially wreak havoc on many species of animals that are already endangered.

Fighting ISIS

He wants a plan for fighting ISIS ready by the military in 30 days.  He wants a “comprehensive plan to defeat ISIS” with no option for “accommodation or negotiation.”

I am not involved in the military, but it seems to me that 30 days might not be an adequate amount of time to plan a way to defeat a group that has been causing such chaos across so many different locations.

Refugee Ban

He has decided to ban refugees from certain countries from entering our country.  Refugees from Syria, Iran, Iraq, Somalia,Yemen, Sudan, and Libya are blocked for 120 days.  Syrians are blocked indefinitely.  These are all countries that are predominantly Muslim.

He denies that this ban is anti-Muslim, but that is precisely what it seems to be.

Pope Francis recently said, “It’s hypocrisy to call yourself a Christian and chase away a refugee or someone seeking help, someone who is hungry or thirsty, toss out someone who is in need of my help.”

Refugees are not the problem in our country.  Most refugees are people who are fleeing dangerous situations.  They are trying to save their lives and the lives of their families.

Fortunately, a judge filed a lawsuit to block part of this plan.  According to an article on Yahoo, “It argued that the order violates a 1965 law that banned discrimination in immigration based on national origin.”

The lawsuit “will stop officials  from removing individuals with approved refugee applications, holders of valid visas and people from the affected countries who have been authorized to enter — pending completion of a hearing on the matter in court.”

Dakota Pipeline

He plans to authorize work to finish the Dakota Access Pipeline. The Standing Rock Sioux Tribe relies on the area in which the pipeline needs to be finished for their water.  The tribe is concerned that the pipeline is a  “high risk that culturally and historically significant sites will be damaged or destroyed” and its fear for the safety of its drinking water supply, according to this article.

Torture

Trump has made it clear that he is not against the use of torture in certain circumstances.  Thankfully, he said that he will let the Secretary of Defense, James Mattis, “override” him. Mattis opposes the reinstatement of torture because experts have found that it is not an effective way to get information out of our enemies.

Trump disagrees with the studies that had been performed, and finds that “it does work.” During his campaign, Trump mentioned reinstating waterboarding, among other, even worse forms of torture.

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This is the exact reason why I felt so conflicted about the election in the first place.  I could not vote for Clinton because of her drastic views that would perpetuate a culture of death.  But I also could not vote for Trump with his crass, derogatory comments, and plans that in my mind do not honor the dignity of the human person.

I have confidence in the American people and hope that if enough people stand up against Trump for certain things like the pipeline or the refugee situation, maybe something will change.

Despite my faith in God, I feel hesitant about the future of our country.  I pray that He will guide Trump to make decisions that will benefit the good of not only Americans, but those in other countries as well.  I know and trust that He can do all things.  I have faith that He is with us.

A Weekend Full of Adventures

This fall, I have seen whales multiple times off the coast.  I’ve seen them while walking, running, and biking, and I hoped that one day I would be able to get out there on my kayak while the whales were there.

Saturday afternoon, I went ocean kayaking.  I didn’t see any whales or dolphins, but I got to try out my wet suit from my uncle.  The weather was nice.  It was sunny, low 50s, and the wind wasn’t too bad.

Here’s the video I made from Saturday:

 

 

On Sunday, I planned to try out my stand up paddle board in the afternoon once it got warm out, so I went to hot yoga in the morning.  I got home around 10:30.  While I was on the phone with my mom, I saw online that someone was posting about seeing whales off the coast of Belmar.

I told my mom that I would call her later that afternoon.  I rushed into my garage to take out my stand up paddle board (which I had not ever used before Sunday).

It’s an inflatable paddle board, so it took a little while to pump it up.  I was so excited to go out into the ocean.  I got it pumped up, put on my life vest, and headed down to the beach, happy that I could carry the paddle board.  It’s a little trickier and more time consuming to get my kayak down to the beach since I need to tie it onto the wheels and roll it down there.  I probably got out there by around 11:45.

I went down to the ocean, which seemed really calm, jumped on the board, and quickly paddled out deeper.

I had my GoPro stuck into my life vest facing outward.  I thought that I was videoing the whole thing.  Only later did I find out that for the first half of kayaking, it was set on photo mode, so I didn’t really capture any good footage unfortunately.

At first, I didn’t see any whales.  Then I saw one farther north, so I started paddling that way.  Then I saw a different, closer one, behind me, so I turned around and started paddling in the opposite direction.

It was really exciting, but really scary at the same time.  I wasn’t ever super close to the whales because I didn’t really know what would happen in the event that one breached right by the paddle board.  I don’t think a whale would be dangerous to me, but I didn’t really want to fall off the paddle board right next to a massive whale.  They were huge!

I think there were two whales.  They kept going back and forth, eating fish.

I saw tons of fish jumping out of the water all over the place.  At one point, I saw a big white something underneath me.  I think it was a school of fish, but it could have also been the underside of a whale, I’m not too sure.

At that point, I realized that I had drifted really far out into the ocean.  I was so excited about the whales that I just kept following them.

This was only the second or third time in my life ever using a stand up paddle board, and my first time using one in the ocean.  I forgot that it’s harder to paddle one into the wind than a kayak.

So I decided to try going closer to shore and I was really struggling.  It felt like I was paddling and not moving forward.  I was getting a little more nervous, though I knew that I could paddle more easily on my knees since there was less wind resistance.  I had to do that a few times.

I also knew that I could lay on my stomach and paddle with my hands like it was a surf board if I needed to.  However, my hands and feet were pretty cold when I went swimming in my wet suit on Saturday, so I didn’t want to do that too far from shore in case my hands went numb.

I eventually did make it back closer to shore, so it all ended up working out just fine, but there were definitely a few moments of concern.

Then I decided to do some yoga practice on the paddle board since I’ve seen videos of that online before.

Let me tell you, it is REALLY difficult to do yoga poses on there.  Even a simple lunge was really hard since the board is floating.  It was fun though.

I’m just disappointed that I didn’t capture the whales on the GoPro.  I could have had awesome video footage, but I don’t.  Next time I see whales, I think I’ll go get my kayak because I can paddle much more quickly and if it’s a little windy, I feel like I have much more control than on the paddle board.  It’s also easier to balance, so  I don’t feel nervous about falling out.

Here is my video from Sunday:

And at this link, BelmarDays.com, there are some awesome whale pictures that someone took yesterday.

It was a really awesome weekend.  I love living here so much.  I definitely utilize the opportunity that I have in living so close to the beach.

Whale Off the Coast of Belmar

This was by far one of the best Saturday mornings, and it was completely unexpected.

I was actually feeling a little sad about the colder weather this morning, and along with it, the end of race season.  I love running and training for races (but I’ll save that for another blog).

I was just sitting on my couch grading some of my students’ journals.  I took a little grading break to log onto Facebook.  I clicked on the Belmar Facebook page because I remembered that a friend told me that he saw a whale off the coast one night this week.

Once I opened the page, I saw live video drone footage of a whale.  From the video, I could tell that it was right outside of my exact street!

I was still in my pajamas, so I quickly took off my pants and put on some running leggings.  I didn’t even change my shirt, but just threw a jacket on top.  I took off my socks and ran out the door.

The videos and photos cannot do it justice, but the whale was so close to shore and it was just amazing to watch.  I walked up the beach, following it while it slowly swam around, leaping every now and then to catch fish.  I could also see fish jumping all over the place.  Surf fishermen and fishing boats started coming out in droves.

I didn’t get any great footage of the whale leaping to eat fish, but watching it in person was simply amazing.

It was such a beautiful morning by the beach.  It was sunny and the ocean was super calm.  I was probably out there for over an hour, just following the whale, watching it, taking pictures, and chatting with all of the other people who also came down to watch.

This is a really awesome photo.  I didn’t take it, but I did get to see the whale breaching like that with its mouth open and it was amazing!

Here is my compiled video footage:

Laying Down My Life

Last night I went with four friends to Catholic Underground in New York City.  It was my first time at Catholic Underground.  There are hundreds of young adults (in addition to people of all ages who are there to worship Jesus.  It is simply amazing.

Catholic Underground NYC

First is Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.  During adoration, there are a bunch of priests hearing confessions.  They sing the night prayer and then they turn down the lights while singing some praise and worship music.  After adoration, they have music downstairs in the basement of the church, with different performers each month.  While the music is playing, people share in fellowship, meeting new people, and finding old friends.  I was excited to run into a friend from college who is now a sister, which I hadn’t even realized.  It was so nice to see her again after so many years.

My friend from college

So the main song they sang last night was Hillsong United’s “Touch the Sky.”  I had not heard this song until last night, but the lyrics really struck me.  Today when I woke up, I had the song stuck in my head, so I looked up the video on YouTube and I watched it on repeat a few times, tears streaming down my cheeks.  These weren’t tears of sadness but rather tears of awe in realizing all of the blessings I have received from God in the past few months.

Here is the video if you aren’t familiar with the song:

Last night, this part of the lyrics kept being repeated while we prayed at adoration:

My heart, beating

My soul, breathing

I found my life, when I laid it down

Upward, falling

Spirit, soaring

I touch the sky, when my knees hit the ground

The line in particular that resonates with me is this: “I found my life, when I laid it down.”  I always try to remember to ask for God’s will when I pray for the desires of my heart.  Sometimes it’s difficult to know whether I am following my own path or the path that God wants me to follow.  But I also believe that the things that I want the most, in the depths of my heart, must be things that God also wants for me.  Not passing wants like material items, but the things that I yearn for in the depths of my soul…I believe that God placed those yearnings there because He wants them for me as well.

It had been my desire to move to New Jersey for years, since high school or possibly even middle school.  I was so excited to finally move here last September.  I had wanted to live here for so long, and it was great in the beginning, but then when my boyfriend broke up with me in February, I was a mess.  My Lyme was acting up.  My job was stressful.  Things seemed to be falling apart.  I started wondering if my move was a big mistake.

I began doubting myself and my trust in God, wondering if maybe things weren’t working out because it had been my desire to move here and not His.  But now that months have passed, I can see how His plan was unfolding all around me while I was completely oblivious.

I didn’t move here because of my boyfriend, but he definitely made the transition a lot less frightening.  I knew him, his family, and his friends.  I knew which towns I liked, which schools I might enjoy working in.  I was relatively familiar with the area.  We were both confident that our relationship was headed toward marriage.

So February tore me apart.  I had envisioned us together forever, without a doubt in my mind.  Suddenly all of my plans for the future were discarded.  I was left alone, without a single friend in the area.

I was lonely.  I didn’t understand what God wanted from me, but I focused on Him as much as I could.  I was on my knees in adoration, crying, not understanding His plan.  It was lent, so I was at Stations of the Cross every Friday.  I was reading the Bible and devotionals.  I was coming closer to Him than I had been in a while.

Eventually, through a small Catholic young adult group, I met someone who I now consider to be one of my closest friends.  During my loneliness, I really just longed for a friend.  I dated a little bit, but I didn’t really want to jump back into another relationship after having been in 2 long-term relationships back to back, which accounted for the past five years of my life.

It required me losing everyone around me to find this new friend, and I bet that if I had still been in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend, I may have never ventured out to the young adult group.  I may have never met her because I had been spending most of my free time with him.

So my friend (her name is Gabriella) invited me to her Bible study.  Through this Bible study, I have met even more Catholic friends in the area.  Some I am closer to than others, so I was excited when Gabriella invited me to Catholic Underground last night because we would be carpooling with three other members of the Bible study who I didn’t really know too well.

The five of us drove to NYC, talking, praying, and learning about each other on the way.

The five of us from Bible study at Catholic Underground

During adoration, I thought about myself just a year ago.  At the time, I thought that I was happy.  I was with a guy I was positive I would marry.  But that relationship wasn’t truly fulfilling the desires of my heart when I really think about it.  We went to church together, but we never prayed together or went to Catholic events together.  We didn’t really talk about God all too often.

Then I thought about my sadness back in February, without any friends in the area.  I felt like life was just ruined.  I hated the weekends.  During the work week, I was busy, but weekends would come and I had exactly zero plans.

Now I consider this weekend.  On Friday night, I went to a Tenth Avenue North concert with one of my new friends from my young adult group.  Yesterday I went to Catholic Underground with four friends from Bible study.  Myself back in February would have never believed me if I had told her to just keep waiting and praying and that everything would get better.

My friend and I at Friday night’s Tenth Avenue North Concert

Last night I realized that although I didn’t intentionally lay down my life for Christ, as the lyrics in that song mention, it is what happened unintentionally after my breakup.  I had nothing but my faith.  I was falling to my knees in adoration (“I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground.”) and slowly I started to meet people.  My breakup was in February and I don’t think I met Gabriella until around June, so it took a little while for things to start falling into place.  I needed that time to myself to focus all of my energy on the Lord.

Today I am so incredibly grateful of the way everything has happened.  I now can’t imagine life without these new friends.  We meet every week on Thursday evenings for Bible study.  We have a young adult holy hour once a month.  This past Thursday there were 12 of us at Bible study.  12 young adults eating dinner together, reading the Bible together, providing advice and a listening ear to each other, laughing together, and simply sharing time with one another.  I feel so incredibly blessed.

This past Thursday’s Bible study group

Last night all of this really hit me because it’s so easy, like mentioned in today’s Gospel (Luke 17:11-19), to forget to thank God for all that He has given us.  It is easy for me to turn to Him when I am brokenhearted, sick, or dealing with the loss of loved ones.  He is my go-to when I am struggling.  But I sometimes forget to look back in thanksgiving to see everything that he has bestowed upon me.

I am now confident that my move to New Jersey was by no means a mistake.  Instead, it was a leap of faith that has now enabled me to grow so much in my friendships and in my faith.  I had to lay down my former life.  I had to move away from the people I knew in Connecticut.  I had to be left single and friendless.  I had to seek God with all of my heart, and slowly but surely, joy has reentered my life, and for that I am incredibly grateful.  God is so good and His plan for our lives, if we listen to Him and pray to follow His will, is more glorious than we could ever imagine.

“I found my life, when I laid it down.”

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***UPDATE***

I’m now reading this in January 2020 and even more amazed by the way things have turned out.  I’m currently married to that guy from that first picture.  That night at adoration was the first time we had really talked outside of Bible study and after that, we started hanging out as friends more often, going hiking, to the movies, and out to dinner.  We then started dating, got engaged 10 months later, and are currently expecting our first child in March.

At the time of writing the original blog, I was already confident in God’s plan just because of finding Gabriella and Bible study, but now I see how each of those “yeses” were leading me to my future spouse and future family.  God is so good.