I don’t really make resolutions. I just think they’re silly since most people can’t even remember their promise by February.
But this year, there is definitely a big change that I would like to make in 2016.
In 2013 and 2014, I ran half marathons, a full marathon, a Tough Mudder, and Spartan obstacle races. It was an absolute blast, and it helped me to stay in great shape.
2015 hit me hard, though, in terms of Lyme symptoms. I never really went more than 3 weeks without symptoms. Thus, my workouts suffered. Fortunately, because I eat healthy, my weight didn’t really fluctuate that much, but I can tell that my endurance is shot and my muscle mass is pitiful.
I went to confession at church this week, like I always do during Advent, and one of the sins I confessed was how I sometimes found myself feeling angry at God. I had the whole “why me?” mentality regarding the Lyme, frustrated when it kept coming back.
The priest’s advice really resonated with me. He said to stop saying “I’m sick” and to instead, say “I’m getting better.” It’s not a lie, because at any time, I should be maintaining the hope that I am getting better. And my mom always told me about self-fulfilling prophesies. Saying “I’m sick” all of the time isn’t really helping anything. If nothing else, it probably just perpetuates my symptoms since, in a way, I expect those symptoms.
I know that I can’t always maintain my positive “I’m getting better” outlook, but I think that being cognizant of the way I talk about the Lyme may be helpful. I need to stop dwelling on the things I can’t do, but rather focus on the things that I am able to do. This week I was able to walk on the beach a few times, I did two simple, low-impact workouts, and I even ran a mile, albeit a very slow mile. I need to focus on each of those accomplishments rather than complaining that my running pace was not great.
It’s easier said than done, but I’m hoping that working on my outlook and positivity in 2016 will help me to feel better. I also want to try to do workouts even when I’m feeling sick. If my back hurts badly enough, it probably isn’t a good idea to run, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t at least do stretches, or go for a walk. If my knees are sore, maybe I can lift weights instead of doing a run or squats.
I’m only 27. I can’t already give up. I have too many more things that I want to do. Too many more races that I want to run. So I am hoping that in 2016, I can complete in at least one race, if not more. I’m hoping to either get my distance running up to the level that I can run a half marathon, or get my strength training in order so that I can run another Spartan race.
That’s my goal and I’m determined.
Here is my motivation:
Peppermintfrost 